I only date guys that I would want to marry one day. I didn’t stutter (even if I could over computer, I know I didn’t just then.)
In high school, I had a science teacher that once told me that we should only date those that we want to marry. I had no idea what he was talking about at the time, but now I completely understand (thanks Mr. Knotts.) Being in a relationship is something that is sacred and sweet, something that SHOULD eventually flourish into a potentially happy marriage, especially when it is a relationship between two adults.
Sometimes people see relationships as something casual, and that is TOTALLY okay, but for me? I get very emotionally invested. I put my everything, my whole heart, into relationships. For me, none of this is just something that come and goes, because I am human. I have very deep feelings and see myself in everyone I meet.
After reading the Bible more and more each day, I realize that my standards should have been set a lot higher in the past as well. I should not be looking for people, nor should others be looking for me. Some people, especially me, look for the good in others. They don’t see what is actually inside because they are blinded by what they want to see. People look straight past what is in front of them.
I should not be settling and being happy with what is in front of me, because I honestly do deserve the best (which I know God will give me someday.) I deserve someone that respects me as well as others, and I deserve someone with plans, dreams, and/or goals. I want a man of God. I want someone that will not only treat me right, but will also eventually be able to step up and be able to treat my future family right.
I don’t want to look for that either. I don’t want to seek people out anymore, hoping and wishing that someone will come along that is CLOSE ENOUGH to what I want. I don’t want to look for these invisible signs, nor do I want someone that is not quite up to my standards.
I was thinking about this the other day, actually, about how people say “it’s a sign.” I realized that a lot of people, including me, search for signs. What if people seek out these signs and once they find something close to it, they decide that’s the best they can get. I realize now that looking for “signs” is not what I (or anyone for that matter) should do. Signs are something that is sought after and I really wish they weren’t. You don’t deserve to try to decode the images in front of you. If God wants you to be with someone, He will make it happen and make it KNOWN that they are interested. If there is no communication about this, or if they have made it clear that they are not interested, it’s time to move on.
If you have feelings for someone, and they have feelings for you too, they should NEVER be afraid to share that. Be honest and be open with people about how you feel about them. It took me years to realize that sometimes you need to be honest in order to have a happier life. Because not sharing how you feel about someone else hurts, especially when you know how invested you are in them, while they have no clue.
Don’t let people play with something as important as your heart. It’s not worth all the stupid games. Be respectful, get consent, do the whole sh-bang.
Stay happy and honest,