The golden question that has been bothering me lately is, “Do I know what I need?”
I don’t mean this in the context of the most obvious needs, either. Food and water is a necessity and I know this better than anyone. When I ask this question, I ask this in the context of today’s society where phones and computers are a necessity in order to succeed in any form of action.
I ask this in the terms of “comfortable” living and not bare living.
I recently went to Indianapolis, which is about a 3 hour car ride from Lexington. Two people were in the car with me and we talked about all sorts of subjects; we spoke about everything from religion to apartments. One of my friends brought up where we would live in the future, or in the present if we could. She said the phrase “this place has all that we need.” This is when the question truly started to nag me, as I am not one to jump to conclusions from mere appearances and names of businesses.
We all think that what we want is what we need. “If I had ____, then _____ would happen and I would get _____.” That’s how it goes, right? What if life is truly not that predictable, though, and getting what you want is most definitely not what you need? The idea in our head that we HAVE to do or have something to the point of physical reliance is a poisonous idea indeed.
When did our wants consume our minds so much to the point where they became “needs”?
I am no exception to my own words, either. I always say that I need things, when in reality I could live perfectly fine without them. I think that we need to reevaluate priorities sometimes and try to get values in order to grow and move forward with our lives.
For the longest time I struggled with the sentiment of others. Only recently did I truly begin to forgive not only them, but also myself. Because growth makes you realize that sometimes it really is your fault. Forgiving myself was one of the best things I ever did.
I realized that I love my art and that I have been caging myself up from it because I didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel good enough to write or dress the way that I wanted to in the first place. The uniqueness within me started to fade away and my motivation to do daily activities faded away with it. I will forever be thanking God for the realizations and blessings that have come to be lately.
Think about what you TRULY need. Don’t think about objects, words, or even people that are fleeting. Think about your mind and your body and be honest with yourself. Think about your habits and what can change. If you need a sign to start a journey or a plan, this is it. Make yourself better and grow.
Sorry for not posting for awhile. I felt so down and uninspired, but I have been feeling a lot better recently, so I hope to get back into the groove of writing.
I love you all